Archive for the ‘Random Thoughts’ Category

Yea, I’m Still Alive

August 4, 2010 Comments off

So its been a while since I’ve posted anything here…

So what have I been up to?

Well I made the Photo Staff on TFW. *joy* Which was apparently a big concern of mine around the time of my last post.

In other news, I’ve been making progress with my own site: Fallen Empire Toys Plastique Freak where I’ve put my photography skills to use. I review toys, everything from Transformers to Marvel figures, and enjoy every minute of it. 😀 Fresh back from BotCon in Orlando, I’ve slowly been making my way through reviewing my “toy haul” from the convention so keep an eye on the site and enjoy the fruits of all my hard work. 😀

Hopefully this is something that I can keep up with, I really enjoy having a place to post all my personal crap and just get stuff off my chest.

In them mean time, check out ma Seekhaz!


Just Me Being A Geek

February 23, 2008 Comments off

OK, so my laptop finally crapped out on me the other day. It didn’t stop working all together, but for some reason my mouse pad and keyboard just decided that they no longer liked their stations in life and just weren’t going to participate anymore… go figure. *shrug* The easy work around was to snag the mouse and keyboard off of my home PC and hook them up to my laptop, but that’s more or less rendered my laptop “not so portable” anymore. I do a lot of my writing at work or on the road, so until I bite the bullet and find replacement parts or just go out and get a new laptop (I’m really pulling for the new laptop BTW), I really don’t have a convenient way to write right now… so my apologies for the lack of posts here lately.

So what’s been going on in my life here lately, other than a broken laptop? Oh where should I begin? Lets start with what’s new on the Transformers collecting scene, that always puts me in a good mood.

All the stuff from my “I sold my 25th Anniversary G.I. Joes Haul” came in, Devil Satan 6 is the awsum! He’s in better shape than he looked like in the pictures and that made me extremely happy. The TF Jr’s were indeed unopened, and I was indeed the first person to free them from their “Styrofoam Prisons”, and when I posted about it on TFW it sparked an offer from another collector for two of the six figures that form Raiden Jr. *SCORE* And the Collector’s Club Exclusives were everything I thought they would be, so all in all it was a great series of transactions; I made way more off of my Joe’s than I thought I would, and when it came time to spend it I got a lot of ridiculous deals on the stuff I wanted.

Here recently, I’ve stumbled into some great deals too. I snagged five of the six figures that form Piranacon from the original Generation 1 Transformers series for a fraction of what they were worth, due to the seller not knowing how to spell his name correctly. I’ve had the sixth figure needed to complete him laying around for a while now and never figured I’d be able to complete it because of his ridiculous price so I’m not complaining. On top of that I was able to work out a deal with another collector for a bunch of the parts I needed to complete my newly acquired Piranacon, along with parts for my G1 Metroplex and Trypticon, so now I just need to get the big gun for Pirranacon, and the smaller guns for Scamper and Full Tilt, and I’ll have all three figures 100% complete. If all goes well with this deal, I should be able to get most, if not all, of the parts I need to complete Scorponok from the same guy too… so n00b3rz eatz0r your heart out, lol. I’ve been wheeling and dealing so much here lately, I feel like a fucking Ferangi 🙂 , but so far 08 has been turning out to be a great year for collecting, at least for me anyways. Here’s to hoping it continues *cheers*

I’ve been trying my hand at photography here lately too, not so much like professional photography but more like product photography (?). I built a small light tent and have been taking pictures of some of my TFs to try and hone my skills. I’m having a little trouble with the white balance and getting my backgrounds to turn out completely white, they tend to have a slightly blue tint to them but I’m encouraged by the results so far. My wife’s been a major help, she the Photographer not me; I just take pictures, and yes there is a difference. Here’s a few I took with little or no Photoshoping, other then cropping the pictures down to size.

I’d really like to get good enough to submit some of my stuff to the TFW galleries, because I have quite a few figures that they are missing from there and they have been such a great help in collecting for me I’d like to give something back. Other than that I don’t really know what I would do with those said skills other than have really good looking images for anything I sell on eBay, lol. I guess I’ve always been like that; I just like to know how things work, see if I can do it, and then I lose interest in it. Kind of like, way back, when I only had a webTV and I decided to write my own IRC chat program for it completely in HTML. I worked day and night on it for about a month, and once I finished it, I never gave it a second thought. The key with that is that WebTV recognizes one HTML command that normal computers don’t: wtvchat or or something like that (It’s been a reeeeealy long time ago), but once I did it I quickly lost interest in it because there was no challenge left behind it other then coming up with snappy little saying to pop up when someone clicked the little button.

Anyways, I’ve rambled on long enough… Peace!

Random Thoughts At Work

January 23, 2008 Comments off

Random thoughts about a customer in the club tonight:

What a fuckin freak! He’s just gonna spin right off this fuckin planet.

Could you possibly do any more drugs?!?!

I wander what color the sky is on whatever planet he came from. Do they speak English there? Cuz you’re kinda struggling with it right now.

Q: “So whatta you do?”

A: “Drugs”

WTF! I don’t think that was the answer she trying to get at bro.

I don’t think I’m the only person in here that don’t give a shit if you could take them into Wal*Mart and get them high for a full week on $10 with nutmeg. That’s not really an accomplishment!

Why the fuck would I sell food?! This is fucking titty-bar you moron! Got the muchies bro? Hmmmm

Q: “You need a cab? It only cost like $5 to get into town.”

A: “No thanks, I’m gonna need all my money for food and drugs. I don’t wanna waste it.”

You’re gonna fuckin walk? It’s 4 fuckin degrees outside! Idiot.

Good bye and good riddance! FRUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gangsta vs. Gangster

January 4, 2008 2 comments

OK, first post of the new year. Although I have whirlwind of things in my mind that I could write about, I’ve decided to show my “Generation X” (and my age) a little bit, and settled on this: Gangsta vs. Gangster.

“This life we live, this thing of ours, it’s not like it used to be…” OK, all joking aside, I’ve been listening to a lot of hip-hop lately thanks to my new iPod, and to be honest with you… it’s all crap! Now just to clarify; I grew up on hip-hop, I love rap music, and there are still a few artists that I listen to regularly. I like Xzibit, The Game, Scarface and I love Knoc-turn’al’s delivery style, but in today’s hip-hop scene there seems to be no shortage of rappers claiming to be gangstas, bragging about their cars, all the Crystal they drink, and the platinum around there necks and on their teeth. I grew up in the hood, I know what it’s like, for the longest time my whole word consisted of about a three mile radius and I didn’t even know what the fuck platinum was until Ice Cube’s War & Peace album came out! Then they want me to believe that they got all that from selling dope? BULLSHIT!

When I was coming up, you didn’t sell dope so that you could have all that flashy shit, you did it so you could survive, you did it as a means to put food on the table and keep a roof over your head. You did it because there was no other way to make it. I see so many of these so called “gangsta’s” fucking up their lives just so that they can be “cool” it’s pathetic. Hip-hop may have coined the phrase “gangsta” as a new age version of being a “gangster“, but what it’s become has turned into such a twisted and diluted version of itself it’s almost funny.

Being a gangster means being about your money and respect, cool never enters into the equation. If you’re not in the “life” for money then you don’t need to be in the life. If you just want to be cool then by all means, join a fuckin boy band, because being a gangster ain’t for children, and only children worry about being cool.

I’ve done my share of illegal shit when I was young, in search of money and I’ve got the criminal record to prove it, but you can be a gangster and have that “gangster mentality” without ever having to break the law. I run an adult club for a living, perfectly legal, but if you run a tab in my club… You.Will.Pay.It. One way or another I’m going to get my money, I’m not saying I’ll do anything illegal to get it, but they always pay… and I’ll leave it at that.

On the other hand I know more than a few people who were given opportunities that I would have given my right nut for, and totally fucked it up because they wanted to be cool. There’s this kid, I’ll call him Zack, that comes into the club every once in a while. He has a good paying job at a local factory pulling down about $15 an hour, but about a month or two ago he got busted by the police with over 75 individually packaged crack rocks selling them to undercover cops. That’s just stupid! He fucked up a job where he was making over 30K a year, and any future jobs he may have gotten, all over a little extra spending money and trying to impress his friends… that’s not gangster.

I should note that I knew he was a dope dealer, because at my club we have a zero tolerance policy for drug dealers, and I had to pull him aside one night and explain to him how important it was for his future to not sell dope in my club, and as long as he abided by my rules, I didn’t care where his money came from. But I had no clue he actually had a job until after he got busted.

This other kid I went to school with, Tim, has a Dad that’s a doctor, a Mom that’s a lawyer, and got accepted into a good college, but he’s sitting in prison for breaking and entering, and selling stolen guns. Again, not gangster.

Another guy I know, I’ll call him Mike, grew up dirt poor, he’s a convicted felon, has a newborn baby, and busts his ass doing whatever odd job he can find (legal and on occasion “not so legal“) to put food on the table for his family. He’s worked hard to get his G.E.D. and a partial collage education, but just can’t seem to catch a break. He’s a gangster.

The argument can be made that they were nothing more than “posers”, pretending to be gangsta’s, but to take a step back an look at hip-hop, that’s what it’s made up of. Rap has went from being music for and from the streets, to being music for the clubs and dance floors, and as a consequence that is what it has become, music for all those posers to listen to while they’re out at the club, so that they can feel like they are from the streets, and pretend to be gangsters.

Common – I Used To Love Her


November 2, 2007 1 comment

Well I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything and I apologize. This whole Senate Bill thing has left me so physically and mentally drained that I haven’t had much time for anything else other than work lately.

I started off today with the intention of writing something about my latest obsession in collecting, G.I. Joes, just so that I could say that I wrote something. Yea I know that’s kind of a cop-out but “hey I’ve been fuckin’ busy, and that’s not how it worked out anyways. So no harm, no foul… right?”

I often joke about having O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) because of my obsessive collecting of things and need to have them neatly organized and displayed… no matter what they are. I’ve always had these tendencies and they run in my family. With my aunt and grandmother its M&M figures, with my uncle its die-cast NASCAR models, and for me it used to be CD’s. I would spend entire paychecks at Sam Goodie and Media Play on CD’s and hours meticulously categorizing, organizing, and cleaning them each week. Then it was DVD’s, Homies, Low-Rider cars, and books. Now Transformers and more recently G.I. Joes have been added to the ranks of useless shit that I’ve started collecting.

Despite all the jokes and ribbing, I’ve never actually taken the time to read anything about this disease. I had no clue as to what it actually was or any or the symptoms until today. During my half assed blog entry, I made a half assed reference to it and decided to check it out for myself… “Ya gotta love Google!”

listed the symptoms as this:

Symptoms may include some, all, or perhaps none of the following:

  • Repeated hand washing.
  • Repeated clearing of the throat, although nothing may need to be cleared.
  • Specific counting systems — e.g., counting in groups of four, arranging objects in groups of three, grouping objects in odd/even numbered groups, etc.
  • One serious symptom which stems from this is “counting” steps — e.g., feeling the necessity to take 12 steps to the car in the morning.
  • Perfectly aligning objects at complete, absolute right angles, or aligning objects perfectly parallel etc. This symptom is shared with OCPD and can be confused with this condition unless it is realized that in OCPD it is not stress-related.
  • Having to “cancel out” bad thoughts with good thoughts. Examples of bad thoughts are:
  • Imagining harming a child and having to imagine a child playing happily to cancel it out.
  • Sexual obsessions or unwanted sexual thoughts. Two classic examples are fear of being homosexual or fear of being a pedophile. In both cases, sufferers will obsess over whether or not they are genuinely aroused by the thoughts.
  • Strange and chronic worried about certain events such as sleeping, eating, leaving home, etc without proper items. An example would be one who literally can’t fall asleep without a metronome.
  • A fear of contamination (see Mysophobia); some sufferers may fear the presence of human body secretions such as saliva, sweat, tears, vomit, or mucus, or excretions such as urine or feces. Some OCD sufferers even fear that the soap they’re using is contaminated.
  • A need for both sides of the body to feel even. A person with OCD might walk down a sidewalk and step on a crack with the ball of their left foot, then feel the need to step on another crack with the ball of their right foot. If one hand gets wet, the sufferer may feel very uncomfortable if the other is not. If the sufferer is walking and bumps into something, he/she may hit the object or person back to feel a sense of evenness. These symptoms are also experienced in a reversed manner. Some sufferers would rather things to be uneven, favoring the preferred side of the body.
  • An obsession with numbers (be it in maths class, watching TV, or in the room). Some people are obsessed with even numbers while loathing odd numbers (they cause them a great deal of anxiety and often make the person uncomfortable or even angry) or vice versa.
  • Twisting the head on a toy around, then twisting it all the way back exactly in the opposite direction.(see even body section)

“Motherfucker! I have all of those, and I don’t mean just a little bit either, that entire article couldn’t have been more about me if it had my fuckin’ name, address, and social security number at the top!”

I don’t do the “hand washing” thing, but I compulsively clean my ears. If I see a Q-tip I can’t help it, I have to take three of them out and clean my ears, even if I just did it an hour ago. Needless to say, my wife has learned to hide them, I can go through a whole box in a week if they’re left out, but if I don’t see them; “No problem”. *weird*

Some of the other things I do never even crossed my mind as being O.C.D. related; constantly clearing my throat, counting things/steps, aligning things in perfect parallels or right angles, obsession with even numbers, and public bathrooms? “Fugetaboutit, I could catch something“. *fuck*

It wasn’t until less than a month ago that I was able to cook chicken for the first time since I moved out on my own, for fear of salmonella. Less than a year since I’ve been able to cook pork, and I burnt the shit out of it just so that I could make sure that it was done all the way through. I love chicken, and sausage is one of my favorite foods, but unless someone else cooks it I worry about stupid shit like that. Microwave chicken patties and nuggets; I can eat them like I’m an Ethiopian because I know they are already cooked, but no go on buying raw poultry and preparing it myself. *geezus*

The only good thing that came out of reading that article is that it put to rest (slightly) one of my phobias. I’ve never admitted this to anyone, or even spoken it out loud, until now. But I’ve literally lost sleep staying awake at night, worrying myself sick, to the point of feeling physically nauseous, because I was afraid that I might turn into a pedophile. I’ve gone as far as to plan out what I would do, and what I would say to my family before I left if it actually got those urges.


In an attempt to further relate the immense distress that those afflicted with this condition must bear, Barlow and Durand (2006) use the following example. They implore readers not to think of pink elephants. Their point lies in the assumption that most people will immediately create an image of a pink elephant in their minds, even though told not to do so. The more one attempts to stop thinking of these colorful animals, the more one will continue to generate these mental images. This phenomenon is termed the “Thought Avoidance Paradox”, and it plagues those with OCD on a daily basis, for no matter how hard one tries to get these disturbing images and thoughts out of one’s mind, feelings of distress and anxiety inevitably prevail. Although everyone may experience unpleasant thoughts at one time or another, these are usually warranted concerns that are short-lived and fade after an adequate time period has lapsed. However, this is not the case for OCD sufferers.

It’s that whole “pink elephant” thing alluded to in the article on Wikipedia. You see something on TV or read a news article about a child molester, and you have that image in your head. You tell yourself to not to think about those type of things even though they are not fantasies, and the more you try to “not think about it”, the more it weighs on your mind. It starts this whole downward spiral and you start to wander, “If I can’t stop thinking about it, does it make me one?” “Could I ever hurt my daughter the way he hurt his child?”

Of coarse not! The mere thought of it is repulsive, and to say it out loud (or even see it in type) sounds’ fucking ridiculous, but that doesn’t stop you from working yourself into a suicidal depression over it… literally.suicidal.

I’m not sure how I feel about it now that I’m thoroughly convinced that I actually have O.C.D. I’m not a medical doctor and I don’t have any kind of medical background, but damn near every sentence in that article pertained to me, it sent chills down my spine with every word. It was funny to make a joke about having it when I didn’t think that I actually had it because everyone would be laughing with me, but now it’ll be more like they’re all laughing at me instead.

I guess the discomfort is a small price to pay for the peace of mind that it gives over other things, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. One thing is for sure, I’m defiantly going to follow this up with a proper medical exam, and maybe I’ll self medicate myself tonight just for good measure… I’m just kidding, the days of partying and illegal drugs are long over for me. Seriously though, I don’t think it can hurt to get it checked out and maybe get some treatment. I’m noticing that the older and more set in my ways I get; the more vocal I am about things and it’s starting to cause problems in my home life. Nothing major yet, but the writing’s on the wall and it’d be better to take care of it now than wait until it’s too late and try to piece something together that’s already broken.

At My Breaking Point

September 16, 2007 Comments off


I really am starting to think that I am getting to my breaking point. My job is not very physically demanding. But it can most defiantly leave you mentally drained if you’re not careful, and once you get to that point it’s almost imposable to dig yourself out.

It’s hard sometimes, constantly crunching numbers in your head, trying to get ahead so that if you have a bad night, or a bad hour, you have a little bit of a cushion to fall back on. I have my whole work week broken down into 3 ½ minute increments, from the start of the night to the end of the night, for every night of the week. At any given time I know exactly how much money I need to have, and want to have in that cash register, and what my running total is for the week. This way if I fall behind, I can start adjusting my game plan for the night, and for the rest of the week. From running a few more dance specials to cutting the songs a few seconds shorter. I have to know how to dig my self out of a hole, and know how to keep myself from falling too deep into one, if needed.

Not to mention all the added stress of having to deal with this fucking “Senate Bill 16 / Issue 1 shit“. Now not only do I have to worry about making sure that there is enough money in that register for the night/week, but I also have to make sure that we have raised our share of money to help fight against a state wide law that would effectively put an end to the adult entertainment industry across the entire state. WTF?

Across the state of Ohio there are approximately 186 adult clubs, only about 50 or so are actually participating to fight this legislation; the rest of them just want to sit back and reap the rewards of everyone else’s hard work; selfish cock suckers!

Since the start of this battle we have had to raise about $400,000 a week to get to the point that we are at right now. That was just to get an injunction against it and get it put on the ballot for the people of Ohio to vote on. Now that we have it on the ballot, as an industry, we need to raise about 1 million dollars per week to pay for all the advertising and to get all the information out to the general public. That’s a big fucking nut to split up between 50 goddamned clubs! And not all of those clubs are pulling their weight either, so that’s extra weight the rest of us have to pull.

When your mind is constantly working, you really start to cherish those moments when you can just let your brain shut down and do nothing, even if it is only for a few minutes or so at a time. That’s the thing, I think, that most people have a hard time understanding. If I’m being quiet and not really doing anything, it’s not because I’m in a bad mood, or because something is wrong; I’m just trying to relax, I don’t need to be cheered up, I just want to be left alone for a bit.

My wife, god bless her little heart, I love her to death, but she is a major contributor to this. I work hard, and I work A LOT. I typically work about six days a week at the club, not counting all of the extra shit that I do “off the clock”. I can tell you right now, thanks to my wife’s superhuman ability to plan things, and given the total number of days off that I get, it will be well over a month before I get a day to myself.

I know that I don’t get to see my family as often as I like. But I do it for them, I do it so that I can provide them with the type of things that I never had as a kid. I also do this so that I can provide my daughter with something that most children today don’t get an opportunity to have; a stay at home parent. You’d be hard pressed to find a family in America that isn’t dependant on having two incomes to survive. I make enough money at my job to do more than “just get by”, and I make enough that we can afford to have my wife stay at home with my daughter and still be able to provide those extras that every family likes to have. But I don’t do this without having to make a sacrifice, and it’s a sacrifice that I often regret having made. I miss out on a lot of things, and I don’t get to spend as much time with my wife and daughter as I like, it’s an emotional tug-of war.

I guess I’m just getting to that point and need to let off a little steam, something to temporarily relieve the stress until I can get some time to recuperate and start the whole process over again. Thanks for listening, and please don’t take this for anything more than what it really is… a bitter stress filled rant. I love my wife and daughter very much and wouldn’t change a thing about them.

Whuu-hu-hu-hut Theeeee Fuck!?!?

August 31, 2007 1 comment

Senator Larry Craig, Whuu-hu-hu-hut Theeeee Fuck!?!? Jeezus man, in an airport bathroom? As a matter of fact, the republican party as a whole… What the fuck? These guys are supposed to represent the “moral majority”, the party of standards, home of the religious right wing, and being in the business that I’m in you can just imagine the load of shit these guys give me at every fucking turn.

The “party of standards”, who the fuck are they kidding? These are the same people that vote against gay marriage, homosexuals in the military, and do everything they can to protect the sanctity of marriage and family, up to and including: frequenting brothels, having gay sex with male prostitutes while hopped up on crystal meth, seducing under aged children working as pages in the capital, raping their wives in the ass while they sleep, and trying to get other males to have sex with them in an airport restroom while taking a shit.

I don’t want to jump on the band wagon and start bashing these guys, but they make it so hard not to. This is the same party that tried to sneak through state wide legislation that would effectively put adult entertainment out of business in my state… they want to take food out of my family’s mouths to appease the religious right wing, but it’s okay to molest little children. Having someone of the opposite sex dance topless in front of you will destroy marriage and turn you into a raging fucking drug addict, but going to whore houses and putting your wieners in little boys butts… that’s fucking great for your family, nothing wrong with that at all.

If anybody starts asking questions: just raise the terrorist alert level, point your fingers at the Democrats, start calling them all pussies, and saying that they’re soft of “terror“, right?

Don’t get me wrong, the Democrats do their share of dirty shit too, but they’ve been pretty quiet since that whole Monica Lewinski thing, and speaking of which…

It’s kind of funny how the Republicans were so quick to try to impeach somebody for having an “out of marriage relationship” with someone of the opposite sex, who was also a consenting adult, when so many of them are sucking the cocks of male hookers, and getting rammed up the ass while doing suit cases full of hard core drugs with their wives neatly tucked into bed for the night seemingly unaware of their activities.

For a party that has taken the “hard line” against homosexuality, there sure do seem to be an awful lot of “faggots” in there.

I hate to knit-pick but I’ve listened to this ass hole try to explain away his actions, and how they were all misconstrued… Whuu-hu-hut Theee Fuck? Man if you’re going to lie, at least try to make it sound believable. When asked specifically about play footsie with that cop in the bathroom, his response was to say that he is what you would call a “fairly wide guy“, and when he sits down he has to spread his legs farther than an average sized person would, and their feet may have accidentally touched…

I’m also what you would call a “fairly wide guy” and when I sit down to take a shit; my pants are still around my ankles, meaning that I can only spread my legs as far apart as I am wide. So unless he was wider than the stall, there’s no way he accidentally touched the other guy’s foot with his.

How the fuck are going to pick up a piece of toilet paper off of the floor of a public restroom with the hand that’s on the opposite side of your body as the piece of paper is, with a turd hanging out of your butt? You have to know that your ass is going to lift up off of the seat, and you’re just going to make a mess. LOL. Okay I’m exaggerating a little bit with this last one, but it’s still a stupid excuse to have your hand underneath the stall. And who picks up dirty toilet paper off of the floor of a public restroom anyways?

Seriously, I watched the press conference that this guy held after the story “broke“ , and it was like watching a three year old lie after getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. All the stammering and backpedaling were not becoming of a senator, I mean, you lie for a living why should you let a couple of dick questions rattle your chain, or do they just hit a little too close to home? Hmmm?

Okay, let the flames and the hate mail begin, I stepped in a hot one this time and I know it.