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Memories

July 11, 2006

 

 

Photograph”
Nickelback

 

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey’s head

 

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we’d ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

 

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

 

I wonder if It’s too late
Should I go back and try to graduate
Life’s better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn’t let me in

 

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

 

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin’ out
They say somebody went and burned it down

 

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we’d find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

 

Kim’s the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She’s had a couple of kids since then
I haven’t seen her since god knows when

 

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

 

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can’t erase
You can’t replace it
I miss it now
I can’t believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

 

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

 

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It’s hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

 

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me…

I think it’s amazing that music has the ability to provoke such strong emotions in people as to make them smile, or laugh, or even cry. The ability to connect with people on a level that causes them to lose their composure and just live in an emotion for a short period of time is something that just leaves me in aw. To be able to put to words and music the thoughts and feelings that most people don’t even realize that they have, and conduct an emotional symphony that takes the listener quiet literally on a tour of your feelings and theirs at the same time.

These songs are far and few in between but when they do come along they are the songs that you listen to repeatedly, until you know every word and every note of the song, until the song is no longer the focus of your listening experience. You listen to the song quite literally just for the emotional stimulation that it gives you, for the memories and feelings that it evokes when you hear it, so that you can relive, if only for a brief moment, your first kiss, the memory of a friend that has passed away, or even the innocence of your childhood, with a vividness that would make it seem as if the song was written specifically for you.

I fall nothing short of astonished to think that someone else’s words could instantly transport me to my childhood, standing on top or the hill with my childhood sweetheart doing the things that kids do with all of the innocence and naiveness that it is to be a child. Never thinking that things would change and never stopping to cherish those times, because for all we knew they would last forever. The feeling that I had the first time that we kissed, the nervous butterflies in my stomach, the moment that I realized that I really loved this girl, the awkward silence that followed because in all honesty it just kind of happened, and how I laid in bed that night not able to sleep because all I could think about was that kiss. While it was not my first kiss it was one of the most memorable kisses in my life…a kiss from my first love.

Then in the same song to be taken to the loving embrace of one of my best friends who I helped (to the best of my ability) to deal with the loss of his wife, children and home, only to lose him in a car accident less than a year later. To remember the joy I felt when I helped him move into his new apartment as we shopped for all those little things that you need when you first move in, and the look of surprise and “duh” when I reminded him to buy a plunger. He was a good friend, he was the best friend that I ever had, and I still miss him dearly.

All the while having that song fill your head with flashes of things like cutting class, hanging out in the neighborhood on those hot summer nights, and all the other dumb things that you did with all of those friends that have come and gone throughout the time; the virtual flood of long forgotten memories that you are now reliving in your head just as if they had happened yesterday.

Not to mention all of the emotions that come along with those memories, the feelings of joy as you remember hanging out on the basketball court or playing football at the church down the street, the mischievous smile that crosses your face when you think about breaking into that old abandoned factory at the top of the hill, the comrodery that you felt as you think about all the different cliques that you fell in and out of over the course of time, and the overwhelming feeling as sadness that you feel as you realize that no matter how hard you try you can never really go back to those days. Most important though is the feeling of gratitude that you feel for even having those memories in the first place.

I often think of those times, but never have I been able to relive them as I do when I hear that one song.

My childhood sweetheart, Renee, she’s on her second marriage now, and hopefully he will treat her better than her first husband did. It really pained me to find out how badly he treated her, I always had sort of a big brother complex with her even after she was no longer my childhood sweetheart, and I still inquire as to how she is doing when I run into someone that knows her.

As for Mark, my dearly departed friend, I find some comfort in the fact that before he died he was actually able to find some sort of happiness and remarry, God knows how much he deserved it.

I often bump into many of my old friends when I go home, and though there is still a feeling of friendship there, it’s not like it was in those days. We’ve all moved on to different stages in our lives, but it’s still nice to see them every once in a while, catch up on how life has changed for all of us, and share a few memories. I wish nothing but good things for all of them, and hope that they remember me as fondly as I remember them; they will always hold a special place in my heart and in my soul.

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